THE HOPE FOR THE EXPECTANT...

What makes us who we are, especially women, is what we are able to do and achieve and not necessarily what we blame others for not getting or achieving. What makes our future bright is that relentless effort of today which tends to add a touch of beauty to our future.

Gone are those days when women cry at home and blame a 'supposed family member' for their inability to bring forth children. It has therefore been medically confirmed that mothers in - waiting can be mothers through other means such as Adoption, which is a process in which a child becomes a full and permanent legal member of the family; Surrogacy, which is a method or agreement whereby a woman agrees to carry a pregnancy for another woman who will become the newborn child's parent after birth; IVF (In Vitro Fertilization), which is the process of fertilization where an egg is combined with sperm outside the body and it is later transferred to the same or another woman's uterus with the intention of establishing a successful pregnancy. No matter the means of having a child, children are God's gift and they are to be loved, cherished and cared for. It is not a curse for the women to be ashamed of nor is the child a plague to be avoided.

The experiences of women who have their babies apart from the natural way is such that cannot be ignored. This is because, it is only they that understand the tears, pain and torture that they have passed through before taking that bold step of making their world beautiful.

They would have pretended to be pregnant by taking drugs that produces the signs and symptoms of pregnancy which include protruded belly, nausea, frequent urination, breast enlargement, weight gain etc and then come back after nine months with a baby which is an act of deceit to their loved ones and the society, but, they chose to face and fight their fears as well as take the bull by the horn by going through other possible medical ways of becoming a mother without deceiving their families, friends and loved ones.
They shouldn't be stigmatized by the society, insulted by friends, embarrassed by family members and neglected by husbands. They are to be loved, supported and appreciated for such a bold step. What makes a woman a good mother is not the ability of bringing forth a child but the ability of nurturing the child to be good and responsible in the future. There is a saying that goes thus, "show me a good and responsible child and I will tell you that he/she is a product of a good mother".

Husbands should support and encourage their wives who are waiting mothers in such trying times. Brothers should lend a helping hand to their married sisters who are expectant. The society as a whole should provide support for mothers in-waiting and quit every form of stigmatization for all hope is not lost.
Therefore, as a waiting mother, there is no need to be discouraged or looked down at. A child deserves to have a good mother no matter the means of motherhood. Children gotten through either adoption, surrogacy or IVF are no lesser than children gotten through the natural way. Many women have tried these means and it has proven successful without any issues leading to an unending happiness and love in marriages. All good gifts including children come from God and they are to be loved and cherished. No matter how dark the situation is, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. All hope is not lost for waiting mothers, there is always hope for the expectant.
                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                              Yours truly,
                                                                                                                         Chika Nnanyelugo
                                                                                                                              (GodlyDiva)